He’s back. And this time, it’s personal. I wasn’t logged in to Gtalk when this started, so it showed up as a chat box in Gmail, meaning I could copy text directly without screenshotting. However, I could only do one box-window at a time, meaning it was easier to just copy in this chat with Priya. I italicized all the stuff copied directly from the chat to make it easier to read. Please enjoy.
asdfgh1411: secret admirer’s backPriya: OMGfrom way back when?asdfgh1411: yesGuest: where’d you go
me: excuse me?
Guest: u left
me: from where?
Guest: i chatted ud
Guest: r u kidding
Priya: OMGOMGOMGOMGthis is awesomeasdfgh1411: Guest: r u kidding
i love u
and u dont even remember me
me: I’ve been told I have a terrible memory
ure so cute
i wanted to say that i just cant stay away from u anymorePriya: “ure so cute”?don’t make me pukeasdfgh1411: r u sure u dont remember me?
ure breaking my heart here
junior in ap bio
me: ah yes, I remember something rather vague
doesnt matterPriya: haha, “something vague”? nice touch, thereasdfgh1411: all that matters is that i love u
i wont lie to u
there was someone else
we started dating
and thats why i started chatting with u
oops i mean stopped
but she was never rite for mePriya: wtf is up with this guy?asdfgh1411: every time we kissed
i only thought bout u
i had to end it with her
me: That’s unfortunate
Guest: we broke up ten minutes ago
and im all urs now baby
me: This is very unfortunate
and while I appreciate the sentiment
I’m takenPriya: hahahaha “that’s unfortunate”oooooh“taken”niceasdfgh1411: :)He hasn’t said anything yetPriya: what’d he say to that?asdfgh1411: Guest: wat?!?!?!?!?!
tell me the motha fuckas name
tell me his name
i have to no who u think is better than mePriya: O.othis guy needs to be in a mental hospitalasdfgh1411: me: Perhaps his best quality is the fact that I know his namePriya: hahahahahaniceasdfgh1411: Guest: ?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
me: which cannot be said of you
Guest: ur so sexy when u smart talk
leave him baby
just tell me this fuckers name
and we can be togetherme: Only one person is allowed to call me sexy
and that person is not, funnily enough, youPriya: pukesomg this is seriously making me nauseousasdfgh1411: Guest: r u saying this guy is allowed to call u sexy?1?!?!?!?
id kill anyone who even tried to
me: Perhaps you should consider suicide.Priya: this guy is a piece of workand haha at your last commentasdfgh1411: I’d be worried, except he’s typingPriya: lolyou’re sooo mean =Pasdfgh1411: me: You didn’t really commit suicide, did you? Because that would be unfortunate.Guest: watre u saying babytell me this isnt trueme: no can do
Guest: i opend up to u
gave u my heart
i lef the hottest girl in school for u
me: See, this is great and all, but just a tip to make it slightly more convincing for the next girl. Drop the anonymity. It makes me think you’re a pervert in the public library.Priya: well? what’d he say to that?asdfgh1411: nothing so farGuest: i cant tell u who i am
and im not a fucking asshole in a libraryasdfgh1411: me: And why exactly can’t you tell me who you are?
Guest: ud never want to date a guy like me
ur probably dating some rally smart prep
well im not that fucker
i hate those types of guys
R U DATING THAT CHINESE FUCKER U HANG OUT WITHPriya: bing bing bing!we have a winner!asdfgh1411: me: excuse me?
Guest: that mutha fucking asswhole that thinks hes the best thing in the whole fucking world
me: He quite possibly might be.ok now it’s getting creepyhe is either on facebook or reads my blogPriya: what what what?asdfgh1411: Guest: well ill take care of him
why do u like him anyways
ill never understand u
all i kno is that ur beuatiful
tell me one thing
does he kno ur birthday is march 30wait no must be on facebookdoes he kno ur indian, specfically gujrati
does he kno ur innermost desiers
i doPriya: O.Ook, umwowasdfgh1411: me: Hmm lemme go ask him
Guest: does he kno u dont have a favorite color but think pink is pretty
and that u like mathand that if i was the only man on the world
then id only want to be with iy
ume: He knows all of that, except for that last one.Guest: he just says he does
he doesnt really like u
or appreciate u
me: Wow, this is super-effective. See, by insulting my boyfriend, you’re revealing how much more awesome he is in comparison to you.
Guest: hes just some fucking chinese fucker who snuck into my country is stealing our jobsPriya: O.Othis is getting creepier by the minuteasdfgh1411: me: Ooh and now with the racism. You’re getting more attractive by the second.
Guest: wat do u see in him [my name]?
baby ill changewat do u see in this guyPriya: ok, um, bipolar much?asdfgh1411: hahame: That’s between two people, and you are not one of them.Guest: who else knos
which two friends?
those brown grils?
or the chinese one
me: two people. Me and him.
Guest: chinese girlwat the fuck?u dont even kno wat u see in him?me: I know, but why the hell would I tell you?
Guest: so i can change
baby u make me want to be betterPriya: cheesy much?asdfgh1411: i left a beautiful woman for u
who was an amazing kisser
only because i knew u were even bettrePriya: this guy listens to too much radioasdfgh1411: roflme: It’s very flattering, but let me put this plainly. I’m not interested.ROFL this is greatGuest: no wait listen
im taking remedial math
i kno ur smart
im gonna get smarterPriya: you’re so cruel! xDasdfgh1411: REMEDIAL MATH.Soooo attractive.Priya: I am literally rofling right nowexcept on this couchnot on the floorasdfgh1411: roclI’m roblme: Get smarter for a girl who isn’t taken. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.
Guest: its easy to become available again
baby i only want uu can just break up with that suckerwho by the way i didnt want to take it to this but he stinks
and wat kind of a name does he have
i forgot it but all i remember is that its a letter
something like thatPriya: wow this guy really did take it too far =Pasdfgh1411: me: This conversation is really going nowhere.
Not to mention you’re insulting my boyfriend.Priya: someone’s very protective =Pasdfgh1411: Guest: break up with him!
be my girlfriend!me: Thanks, but no thanks.[Sarah Palin said, “And so I said thanks, but no thanks, to the bridge to nowhere.”]Priya: hahahahahaI can imagine her saying thatasdfgh1411: Guest: look how about i send u a pic of me
maybe that will change ur mindme: it might.
send it to firstname.lastname@example.orgPriya: why do you lead him on so?asdfgh1411: lolGuest: no ill post the link rite here
im a model u kno
me: that workshe’s a model, you knowPriya: woooow, impressiveasdfgh1411: I wonder what Adrika’s reaction will be when she reads thisshe left before it got goodPriya: her loss!omg send pic send pic send picPriya: holy shitthere’s no way that guy is a teenagr*teenagerasdfgh1411: me: That looks legit.
Because it’s not at all like you probably Google Image searched “hot guy
“Priya: waitlook at the title above itthis isn’t the guy. T.Tasdfgh1411: no reallyPriya: “See more hot high school guys pictures”asdfgh1411: Priya, you’re too gulliblePriya: wtf?asdfgh1411: Guest: i didnt
thats mePriya: rolls eyesasdfgh1411: me: I’m really not falling for that one.
Guest: u dont have to fall for anything!
just fall for me
thats mePriya: ENOUGH with the cheesy lines…geezusasdfgh1411: me: Nice line, but wordplay won’t get you far with me. Honestly, you should really just give up right now.The entertainment value of this conversation is waning.
Guest: ur a bitch
im txting my ex rite now
she said she wanted me back
u go run off with ur chinese assholeme: will do.
Guest: and ill go have a fun time with my hot girlfriend
me: You do that.Guest: have a god damned fucking horrible life
me: I’d prefer that didn’t happen, but I appreciate the sentiment.Guest: and by the way
i AM a pervert in a public library
one thats about to closei got all ur info from ur fb pagei heard from a friend that someone was stalking uand posed as that guy
idk who the hell he isPriya: O.Oasdfgh1411: so ur the one the joke was played on
me: Thanks for letting me know.Priya: waitso I’m guessing he doesn’t have that “hot girlfriend” eitherasdfgh1411: rolleyesPriya: you HAVE to post this on your blogasdfgh1411: working on itPriya: this was like the longest one yetasdfgh1411: possiblyPriya: and it was the most hilariousdo you really think this guy isn’t your stalker from months ago?or do you think he was lying about that?asdfgh1411: I think it’s the same dudePriya: we’ll have to examine the language and speaking patterns from the chats months agoxD that was great!