Nostalgia 24 August 2008

Recently, I’ve found myself looking back and realizing that I am just old enough to remember things I have long forgotten. Most of it is just about relatively unimportant things like my favorite games from when I was younger.

Some of it is more about how great life was when I was in elementary school: there were days when I would get home from school, finish off my homework while watching re-runs of Ghostwriter, and head straight to a world of books. That is literally all I would do all day. I read on average two books per day, and the librarian knew me by name. I used to read everywhere, no kidding. In the car, in class when I was bored, in the hallway on the way to or from the library or lunch, during meals, everywhere. Those memories are so special to me now, because without all that reading, I don’t know where I’d be today.

I cherish the memories of my little world, where the biggest problems in my life had to do with have three worksheets for homework instead of two, leaving a book I had half-read at school, or something similar. I miss those days more than I can stand, sometimes.

In a recent conversation with my friends, we got into a discussion about what an ideal age is. My friend “C” argued that eighteen was her goal, and after that she would probably only look back and wish she were eighteen again. “K” and I pointed out that life was so much better at eight. It was a time when worries were trivial, your parents took care of everything, and you didn’t really care. That contentment is more than most people feel for the rest of their lives. I cannot imagine ever living with so little care ever again.

I will admit that things didn’t seem so great back then, but isn’t that the meaning of the oft-repeated phrase? “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” The irony of it all is that I will probably look back in ten years’ time, wishing for these simpler times, when my worst concerns are about turning in homework late.

I’ll allow that nostalgia isn’t the greatest feeling in the world, but it’s helping me appreciate all the things I had, and how many of them I still have, albeit in a different form. It means a lot.

I *should* be doing Chem 19 August 2008

Today was my first day of sophomore year. I was looking forward to it a lot, for a variety of reasons. I must admit, summer gets old (which is why I advocate year-round school, but that is a post for a day when I do not have so much homework). And while IB is rigorous and challenging, it is fun. That is right. I said it. Stressing out to learn the material, finish the lab, get the problems solved; it is incredibly fun. Complaining about it and bragging how much homework you have is always worth a laugh too.

Coming back to PHS after these two months reminds me how much it sucks. I mean, honestly. The place does not have a lot going for it: as inner-city as you can get in this town, with a ~50% pass-rate, and prestigious IB and HOSA (health academy) programs. Yeah, one wonders how those last ones ended up there. I actually hear it is all about the funding they get from all the AP and IB exams we take, but that does not make me feel any better. The point is that if you’re walking down the hall, you can quite accurately group people into IB/HOSA and non-IB/HOSA (General Population, or GP) just by the way they are dressed and act. It’s a pretty effective form of segregation, where most of the Asians are in IB/HOSA, and there are few African-Americans who are not GP.

I have very little school-spirit, mainly because I see very little to be proud of. Pensacola High has made it into Newsweek’s Top Public High Schools, but if it read “Pensacola High School International Baccalaureate Program” it would be just as true. I do not see the point in cheering on our football, basketball, baseball, tennis, volleyball, soccer, track, softball, cross country, weightlifting, golf, and swim teams when no one applauds a good grade. For a top-100 public school, PHS is not focused on academics at all. It is just for irony’s sake, after all, that GP students are referred to by IB teachers as “the scholars” or “the winners”.

Who I Am 14 August 2008

I am a (female) teenager living in Florida. I am of Indian descent. I am a sophomore in the IB program at my local high school. I am a liberal in most ways, except for the issues on which my more conservative best friend has managed to influence me. I am an atheist (or faithfreeist, if you prefer) and a humanist. As for the rest, I am still figuring it all out. I am an absolute nut about grammar. I love math and reading. I speak two languages fluently and two languages semi-fluently. This makes me a polyglot.

I have been a lurker on the Intertubes for years, but I’ve finally taken the plunge and gotten a blog. I procrastinate a lot, have very little self-control, and still manage to maintain a 4.0 unweighted GPA. No one wants to know how this is possible more than I. I am a perfectionist. I am very nit-picky. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life except that I want to get into a great college.

This whole blog is supposed to be about who I am, I believe, so this is but the basics. Stay tuned.

Why I Made This Blog

1. I am sure the world will be fascinated with the musings and observations of yet another teenaged Intertubes addict.
2. My friends probably think I talk too much. And I love them too much to let them put up with that.
3. Because the Facebook status message line has a character limit. As does just about everything on Facebook.
4. There just are not enough things that make me put off my schoolwork as it is.
5. My friends will be mildly entertained by this.
6. I want something to show my future grandchildren in fifty years. By which time paper diaries will probably be out of style.
7. I have something to say (I think).

All of these reasons were at least slightly facetious. A great way to start off a blog, in my opinion.